三人搞笑剧本大全英语短篇

风和太阳(The Wind And The Sun)

One day the wind said to the sun, “Look at that man walking along the road. I can get his cloak off more quickly than you can.”

(有一天风跟太阳说: “看看那个沿着路上走的人.我可以比你快让他把披风脱下来.)

“We will see about that,” said the sun. “I will let you try first.”

(“我们等着看吧,”太阳说, “我让你先试.)

So the wind tried to make the man take off his cloak. He blew and blew, but the man only pulled his cloak more closely around himself.

(因此风尝试让那个人把披风脱下来.他用力地吹,可是那个人把披风拉得更紧.)

“I give up,” said the wind at last. “I cannot get his cloak off.” Then the sun tried. He shone as hard as he could. The man soon became hot and took off his cloak.

(“我放弃了,”风最后说, “我无法让他把披风脱下来.”然后由太阳试试看.他尽可能地晒他.不久,那个人很热就把披风脱下来了.)

传说在一所小学里,有85间教室,和15间办公室,一共100间房子,但是其中的一间房子无论何时都是上锁的,因为许多年前那间房子里发生过怪事,尽管怪事的内容已经没人记得了

后来学校招的学生多了,打算新设一间教室,那届的校长是当地有名的无神论者,他看到一间大房子一直被闲置,心里觉得很是可惜,于是就把新教室安排在这所被封了几十年的大房间里

这件教室坐着30个学生,16个男生,14个女生,我的叔叔阿名也是那届的学生,阿名说,他们30个学生,多数住校,因为学校在大山里,只有学校隔壁村的学生才会选择走读,其实住宿费也不是很高,那时的学校住宿费的确比现在便宜不少,但是那时的宿舍条件也很差,阿名和7个男生合住在一所宿舍内,那所宿舍到了夏天,尤其是夜里,便蚊虫满天飞,而且同舍的寝友不是打牌,就是抽烟,因此阿名经常独自在教室里温习功课到天亮

有一天晚上,阿名在教室里温习,教室里的表已经指向12:00了,阿名突然觉得小腹涨痛,想是要去大解,于是就拿着随身携带的卫生纸像厕所走去,就在他刚刚走出教室的一刻,教室里的灯灭了,整个楼道黑漆漆的一片,阿名觉得很奇怪,他打算去看个究竟,于是独自走进教室

他刚进教室门的时候,脚下一绊,那卷卫生纸也掉在了地上,阿名赶紧毛下腰摸索,终于把卫生纸捡起来了,突然,他发现窗前站着一个人,那人穿这一件白衣服,他看不到那人的表情,他下意识的揉揉眼,松开手,那人已经消失了

这时教室的灯又都亮了起来,阿名心里有些发毛,他连灯都没关,径直跑回宿舍去了,他回到宿舍,躺在床上,他的手里还握着那卷卫生纸,阿名惊讶的发现,那卷卫生纸已经松开了,像一条线一样,托了一路,线的另一头一直延伸到宿舍外,而刚刚看到的穿白衣服的人,正在一面倒着卫生纸,一面朝宿舍走来,阿名甚至透过宿舍的窗户,看到了那人的脸,更让阿名感到恐惧的是,那人的嘴里含着一根又长又红的舌头!

那个人一边冷笑,一边在窗外转过脸来,他用那下垂的眼球盯着阿名,⒊鲆徽笳笠跎男?阿名当时完全傻了,他不知道如何是好,而窗外的那个’人’依旧一面倒着地上的纸,一面朝阿名走来,那散落在地上的纸,仿佛他的轨道一般,他往前走,他绕过窗子,阿名甚至能感觉到他就在门外,而那门也悄无生息的开了

那个人已经进入宿舍了,继续缓慢的往前走,就在这时,阿名已经意识到,手里拿的哪里是什么卫生纸,而是像布一样的东西,他同时也看到,那个’人’正将那白布一点一点缠回到自己身上

就在他快要靠近阿名床位的时候,睡在阿名上铺小章醒了,他仿佛要去厕所,他看到阿名手里的卫生纸,就夺了过来,还骂了一声,{睡觉拿什么卫生纸},径自朝厕所跑去

那个’人’冷笑着看了阿名一眼,跟着小章跑了出去.......

阿名打算叫住小章,可是他根本张不开嘴,过了一会,他听到小章的尖叫>..

第二天,人们发现小章死在了厕所里,他被一根白布掉在厕所的屋脊上!!阿名来到教室的时候,他看到他的座位上,放着一卷白色的卫生纸

第二年,那个教室又被封锁了,然而阿名早在教室封锁之前,就转到了别的学校,现在他在东北的一家化工厂工作,有一年我去他家探亲,他给我讲起这个故事,他说其实很多事都是注定的,比如你命中注定不该死,你就算遇到再大的险也死不了,你命中注定该死,你不遇险也会死,阿名拿出一张出事前的照片,那是他们宿舍8个人的合影,照片里,小章的脖子上栓着一条雪白的绸布>.....

这贴可不是诅咒贴!但是这贴却发生了不少怪事,我说不是为了让你回帖,而是怕你后悔,有一个人没回帖,第二天他就被人用白布勒死了,我不是强迫你回,我就是说明厉害,我可不诅咒你,回不回在你!!祝你好运!

事是这样的

以前在各大学校里都流传着这么一个恐怖故事

说是A校有不干净的东西 每当十五的时候 学校门口的鲁迅像的眼睛就会动

所有教学楼都会停电

楼梯会从原来的13阶变成14阶

实验室的水龙头放出来的水会变成红色

还有1楼尽头的那个厕所只要有人进去了就再也出不来了

于是 一群不信邪的孩子们约好15那天去探险

晚上12点 他们准时来到了那所学校的门口

鲁迅像的眼睛望着左边 他们记下了 生怕出来的时候记不得有没有动过

他们来到了教室 打开开关 咦 不是亮着的么？

“骗人。”一个男孩发出抱怨

“再看看吧。”

来到了楼梯口 “1 2 3...13没错阿 是13阶阿？”

孩子们有点怀疑传说的真实性了

于是他们又来到了实验室 水龙头打开了 白花花的水流了出来

“真没劲阿 我们白来了！”

刚开始的刺激感都消去了一半。

最后 他们来到了那个厕所

女孩子虽然口上说不相信 可是还是不敢进去

于是让刚刚很拽地说不怕的小C进去

看了表 1点整

2分钟后 男生出来了

“切 都是骗人的”

孩子们不欢而散。

出门时 一个看门人发现了他们 喝斥他们怎么可以那么晚还在学校逗留。孩子们撒腿就跑

小B特地注意了一下门口的石像 没错 眼睛还是朝左看得

“骗人的”他嘀咕了一声

“喂 小B么？小C昨天晚上和你们一起出去玩 怎么还没回来？”第二天早上 小C的妈妈打电话过来询问。

小C也没有去学校上课

孩子们隐约感到不对了

于是 他们将晚上的探险之事告诉了老师和家长

大家在大人的陪同下回到了那个学校。

“什么？ 我们的鲁迅像的眼睛一直是朝右看的阿。”校长听了孩子们的叙述 不可思议的说。

“可是我们昨天来的时候是朝左看的阿”

出门一看 果然 是朝右看得...

“可是昨天的确有电阿”

“昨天我们这里全区停电...你们怎么开得灯？”

“还有楼梯！”孩子们迅速跑到楼梯口

“1 2 3...12？”

“我们的楼梯一直是12阶的。”

“不可能！！！”

“还有实验室”一个孩子提醒道

“对 实验室”

一行人来到实验室 就在昨天他们开过的那个水龙头下 有一摊暗红色的痕迹。

“是血迹。”

“那...小C昨天还去过那个厕所...”大家都感到了一阵莫名的恐惧

“走 我们去看看”校长也意识到了事情的严重性

...

推开门...

小C的尸体赫然出现在大家的眼前

因为惊恐而睁大的双眼

被割断的喉管血淋淋的

内脏散落在已经干掉的水池里...

“阿...”小C的妈妈当场昏了过去

几个老师马上冲出去呕吐...

小B也被吓得目瞪口呆

在他晕过去的前一秒钟

他瞥见小C的手表

指针停在了1点...

就是小C进去的那个时候...

顺便说一下 他们去探险的那天晚上 并没有门卫...

乌鸦太懒了，结果被吃掉了。

Tongue twister(绕口令)

Mike has a kite.

The kite is white.

I want to fly the kite with Mike.

But Mike doesn't want to fly the kite.

没有找到长的

你去搜索个吧，很简单的。

There are many mice in the house. The man of the house has a cat. The cat kills(杀死)many of them .

Then the oldest mouse says, "All mice come to my room tonight. Let us put our heads together and think what to do. We can do about(除掉)the cat. All the mice come. Many mice speak , but no one knows what to do. At last a young mouse stands up and says, "We must put a bell(铃)on the cat. When the cat comes near, we can hear the bell and run away and hide. (躲藏) So the cat will not catch any of us. “But,” the old mouse asks, " who will put the bell on the cat?" No mouse answers .The old mouse waits, but no one answers. At last the old mouse says, "It is easy to say things; but it is hard to do them."

画蛇添足

几个人以一壶酒为赌注，规定谁先画出一条蛇，谁就能得到这壶酒。其中一个人最先画成，他伸手取过酒壶，正要把酒喝掉的时候，四处一看别人还没画完，他便左手持壶，右手继续画着说：“我还能再给这条蛇添上几条脚呢！”蛇脚还没画完，另一个人已经画好了蛇的人从他手里夺过酒壶，边喝边说：“蛇本来是就没有脚的，你怎么能给他添上脚呢？”

Adding

Feet

to

a

Drawn

Snake

A

group

of

people

staked

a

globlet

of

wine

on

drawing

a

snake

on

the

ground.

The

one

whoever

finished

the

drawning

first

would

win

the

globet

of

wine.Then,one

of

them

came

out

first

and

complacently

took

up

the

globet,ready

to

drink.Seeing

nobody

around

him

had

finished

yet,he

held

the

wine

in

his

left

hand

and

said:"Oh,there

is

still

time

for

me

to

add

some

feet

to

the

snake."So

saying,he

used

the

other

hand

to

do

it.But

before

he

could

finish

the

feet,another

man

completed

his

snake.He

immediately

seized

the

vessel

and

cried:"A

snake

is

born

without

feet.How

can

you

add

feet

to

it?"With

these

words,he

gulped

down

the

wine.

最佳答案事: 很多年前, 一个爸爸和一个妈妈想休假，所以他们决定晚上去城镇。他们叫来最信任一个人来照看孩子。当保姆来的时候，他们的连个孩子已经在床上睡着了。所以保姆只是看了看孩子是否睡的好，就坐下了。

深夜，保姆觉得无聊就想去楼下看电视。但是她看不了，因为楼下没有电视（因为孩子的父母不希望他们的孩子看太多垃圾）。她就打电话给孩子的父母，问是否可以在他们的卧室看电视，当然孩子的父母同意了。

但保姆又想要最后一个请求。

她问是否可以用毯子或者衣服盖住那小丑雕像，因为那使她感到很害怕。

电话沉默了一会。

（此时爸爸在和保姆通话）

他说：带孩子离开房间……

我们将会叫警察……我们从来没有什么小丑雕像。

那小丑很可能是一个从监狱逃出来的杀人犯。

电话里沉默了一会儿。

（正在跟保姆通话的孩子的父亲）说：带上孩子们，离开房子……我们会通知警察……我们没有一个小丑雕像……

孩子们和保姆被小丑谋杀了。

结果是，小丑是一个从监狱里逃出来的杀人犯。

如果你不在5分钟内转发这个贴子，这个小丑在凌晨3点时将会拿着刀站在你的床前。

我在这里发了，这就是恶魔般的小丑没有杀我的原因

1.Once a fox invited a stork to dinner. He put nothing on the table except some soup in a very shallow dish.

The fox could easily lap up the soup, but the stork could only wet the end of her long bill in it. When she left the meal, she was still very hungry. "I am sorry," said the fox, "the soup is not to your taste."

"Please do not apologize," said the stork. "I hope you will come to my house, and dine with me soon."

A few days later the fox visited the stork. He found that his food was put in a long bottle, and the mouth of the bottle was very narrow. He could not insert his big mouth into it, so he ate nothing.

"I will not apologize," said the stork. "One bad turn deserves another."

一次，狐狸请鹳来吃饭。他除了浅盘子中的一点汤以外，什么也没有准备。

狐狸可以轻而易举地喝到汤，但是鹳只够蘸湿他长长的嘴尖。吃完饭后，鹳仍旧很饥饿。"很抱歉！"狐狸说，"这汤不合你的口味"。

"别客气，"鹳说，"过几天请到我家来和我一起吃饭吧。"

几天后，狐狸应邀而至，他发现食物都装在一个长长的瓶子里，而瓶口很细，他无法将他的大嘴伸进去，什么也吃不到。

"我不想道歉，这是你应得的回报。"鹳说。

2.A woman was singing. One of the guests turned to a man

by his side and criticized the singer.

"What a terrible voice!"he said. "Do you know who she is?"

"yes." was the answer,"she is my wife."

"Oh,I beg your parden," the man said. "Of course her voice

isn't bad, but the song is very bad. I wondered who wrote that awful song?"

" I did," was the answer.

有一个妇女在唱歌。一个宾馆的客人对旁边的男人问道：“这是多么可怕的歌声啊，你知道她是谁？”

“是的”，男人回答到“他是我妻子”。

“OH，我的兄弟，其实她的声音并不难听，主要是这歌词写的不好，是谁写的这么可怕的歌词？”

“我写的”男人回答道.

一天加班到深夜，独自一人坐电梯下楼。在13楼的时候门突然开了，一个男孩子站在门外，“都这么晚了，怎么还这么多人坐电梯啊？”

在夜里车开的飞快，一个老太婆趴在车窗外看着我。

我一个人要乘出租车，司机问我：你们两个要去哪里？

昨夜在上网的时候，朋友突然敲窗问我要不要出去玩。正准备说不去，突然想起来：我已经搬家了，从一楼搬到十楼。啊，那是谁啊？

一只乌鸦坐在树上，整天无所事事。一只小兔子看见乌鸦，就问：“我能象你一样整天坐在那里，什么事也不干吗？”乌鸦答道：“当然啦，为什么不呢？”于是，兔子便坐在树下，开始休息。突然，一只狐狸出现了。狐狸跳向兔子……并把它给吃了。

这个故事的寓意是……要想坐在那里什么也不干，你必须坐(做)得非常非常高

英语短篇故事(伊索寓言)

1.The Fox and the Monkey

A Monkey once danced in an assembly of the Beasts, and so pleased them all by his performance that they elected him their King. A Fox, envying him the honor, discovered a piece of meat lying in a trap, and leading the Monkey to the place where it was, said that she had found a store, but had not used it, she had kept it for him as treasure trove of his kingdom, and counseled him to lay hold of it. The Monkey approached carelessly and was caught in the trap; and on his accusing the Fox of purposely leading him into the snare, she replied, "Oh Monkey, and are you, with such a mind as yours, going to be King over the Beasts?"

2.The Fence

By: Author Unknown

There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry', the wound is still there."

英语绕口令：

I saw Esau kissing Kate. I saw Esau, he saw me, and she saw I saw Esau.

A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood

Mr. Cook said to a cook: "Look at this cook-book. It's very good." So the cook took the advice of Mr. Cook and bought the book.

Who washed Washington's white woollen underwear when Washington's washer woman went west．

A writer named Wright was instructing his little son how to write Wright right. He said: "It is not right to write Wright as 'rite'---try to write Wright aright!"

希望对你有用！

A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?

B: Friends, of course.

A: Why?

B: I can always borrow money from friends.

英语童话故事：小红帽，快来看看吧

A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?

B: Friends, of course.

A: Why?

B: I can always borrow money from friends.

钱和朋友

甲：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要？

乙：当然是朋友。

甲：为什么？

乙：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱。

ONLY A FEW WORDS

At a court the judge is interrogating a mugger but gets into difficulty because the mugger is a foreigner who doesn't speak English. "Don't you speak English at all?" the judge asks. "Only a few words," replies the mugger.

"What words do you know?"

"Your purse or your life!"

几个英语词

法庭上法官正审问一个抢劫犯，由于该犯是一个不会说英语的外国人，审问很困难。"你一点英语都不会说吗？"法官问。"我只会说几个词。"抢劫犯回答。

"你会说哪几个词？"

"你是要钱还是要命！"

DON'T BE SELFISH

A mother is admonishing her son.

----Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.

----But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.

别太自私

一位母亲在劝告她的儿子。

"听着，约翰，别太自私，让你的弟弟和你共用一辆自行车。"

"妈妈，我是让他。我先骑下坡，他再骑上坡

千万不要开那扇窗（极度吓人）

奈搬家了,搬进了比之前还要好的房子。

不仅是使用面积增加了一倍,还有房租居然便宜了一半。

一开始,奈担心是遇到了房子租赁的骗局,犹豫的时候却听房东说,可以先住,租金月底结算。

搬家那天,奈的男朋友来帮忙,从中午忙到黄昏,赶在晚饭前把所有的东西都搬进了新居。

累坏了的两个人瘫坐在地板上休息了一会后,奈的男朋友提出到外面吃饭。

奈站在卫生间的镜子面前洁面化妆,听见房间里传来男朋友的声音。

“这里还有一扇窗户,被墙纸糊住了。”

她一边涂着口红,一边探头出来看,男朋友正动手撕开了一处墙纸,露出了一扇窗户,用木条严实的封住。

“别管了,先出去吃饭吧。”

奈拖着男朋友出了门。

吃完晚饭后,两人又去看了场电影,回到新居的时候已经是晚上十一点多钟了。

站在门口目送着男朋友驾车离开后,奈掏出钥匙开门,却看见门下的缝隙中露出了一截纸片。

拾起来一看,是匿名的字条,上面歪斜的写着:千万不要打开那扇封起来的窗户。

奈简单的冲了个澡后就躺上床,却是躺了好长一段时间也不能入睡。

索性开着手机看小说,看着看着,就犯起了迷糊。

一阵急促的敲门声把奈惊醒了,看了一眼手机上的时间,凌晨两点多钟。

奈凑近了门上的猫眼孔朝外面看,敲门的人是她的男朋友。

奈一边奇怪着,一边打开了门。

一股力道撞开了刚刚打开的门,把奈也撞的向后倒退了几步,还没等她站稳了脚步,男朋友已经风一般的冲了进来,话也不说一句,直接冲到了那扇被木条封起来的窗户面前。

受到惊吓愣在原地的奈这时候才看清楚,男朋友是带着一把工具锤上门的。

封住窗户的木条被一根一根的拆去,奈不敢出声,呆在一边默默的看着此刻在她看来既陌生又恐怖的男朋友。

早晨七点多钟,一名晨练者报警了。

他带在身边的宠物狗突然赖在路过的一户人家门口,狂叫着不肯离开,引起主人的好奇,走近后发现,房门半开着,一股浓烈的血腥气从里面扑出来。

警车呼啸而至。

奈躺在床上,胸口扎着一把工具锤,早已经冰凉。

在鬼姐姐鬼故事找的，你自己去看吧！

只有你有爷爷吗?

Once upon a time there was a nice young man called Karim. He used to sell caps for a living, and roam around several villages. One day he would be in village A, the other day people would find him in village B.

It was an afternoon in summer and he was traversing the vast plains when he felt tired and wanted to have a nap. He found a nice mango tree with lots of branches and cool shade, placed his bag of caps beside him and went to sleep. Tired as he was, he was quickly fast asleep. When he woke up after a refreshing little nap, he found that there weren't any caps in his bag!

"Oh, Allah!", he said to himself, "Did the thieves have to find me of all people?" But then he noticed that the mango tree was full of cute monkeys wearing colourful caps!

He yelled at the monkeys and they screamed back.He made faces at them and found the monkeys to be experts at that. He threw a stone at them and they showered him with raw mangoes.

Frustrated, he took off his own cap and slammed it on the ground. And Lo, the stupid monkeys threw their caps too! Smart Karim didn't waste a second, collected the caps and was on his way.

50 years later, young Abdul, grandson of famous Karim who was also working hard at making money and doing his family business, was going through the same jungle.

After a long walk he was very tired and found a nice mango tree with lots of branches and cool shade. Abdul decided to rest a while and very soon was fast asleep. A few hours later, when Abdul woke up, he realised that all the caps from his bag were gone! Abdul started searching for the same and to his surprise found some monkeys sitting on mango tree wearing his caps.

Abdul was frustrated and didn't know what to do. And then he remembered the story his grandfather proudly used to tell him.

"Yes! I can fool these monkeys!!!", said Abdul. "I'll make them imitate me and very soon I'll get all my caps back!"

Abdul waved at the monkeys - the Monkeys waved at Abdul

Abdul started dancing - the Monkeys were also dancing

Abdul pulled his ears - the Monkeys pulled their ears

Abdul raised his hands - the Monkeys raised their hands

Abdul threw his cap on the ground...

Just then, one of the monkeys jumped down from the tree, grabbed the cap Abdul threw on the ground and walked up to Abdul, said: "Do you think ONLY YOU HAD A GRANDFATHER?"

故事新编：听老人言的后果

1.他一直靠卖帽子为生，经常来往于几个村子之间。roam：在……之间来回走动。

2. traverse：横过，穿过；have a nap：(尤指在白天)小睡，打盹。

3.他看见了一棵芒果树，枝繁叶茂，阴凉一片。

4. fast：(睡眠)沉的，熟的。

5. refreshing：提神的，令人身心舒服的。

6. Allah：安拉，真主(伊斯兰教信奉的惟一神的名称)。

7.难道盗贼偏偏撞见了我？

8. cute：聪明伶俐的，机敏的。

9.他冲着猴子大声叫喊，猴子们也尖叫着回敬他。

10.他向猴子扮鬼脸，结果发现猴子对扮鬼脸在行得很。

11.他向它们扔石头，猴子就从树上摘了生芒果雨点般地砸向他。raw：自然状态的，生的。

12. frustrated：挫败的，泄气的；slam：使劲扔，砰地放下。

13. Lo: (表示惊讶)看哪！瞧！

14. family business：(祖传的)家业。

15. to one's surprise：令某人吃惊地。

16.于是他想起了爷爷过去常常得意地讲起的那个故事。

17. fool：愚弄，欺骗。

18. imitate：模仿。

19.就在这时，一只猴子从树上跳下来，抢走了阿卜杜拉扔在地上的帽子，走到他跟前说："你以为只有你有爷爷吗？"