英语剧本2人
提到的作品
nanmingpila
1: 啊~~~ 大忽悠!大忽悠! 2: 喊啥大忽悠,今儿出来卖这完应,别叫我艺名行不行? 1: 孩儿他爸, 2: 恩, 1: 要我说这个拐就别卖啦! 2: 因为啥呀? 1: 这满大街都是腿脚好的,谁买你那完应啊? 2: 你废话,不卖了,做这副拐又搭工又搭料,一天一宿没睡觉,不做不赔了么? 1: 哎呀,那这满大街都是腿脚好的,能卖出去吗! 2: 你还不了解我吗,还管我叫大忽悠呢。我能把正的忽悠斜了,能把蔫的忽悠谑了,能把尖人忽悠嗫了,能把小两口过的挺好,我给他忽悠分别了。今天卖拐,一双好腿我能给他忽悠瘸了! 1: 哈哈,你可拉倒吧, 2: 信不信? 1: 我就不信人家好好的腿你就能给人忽悠瘸了?
原贴:2人搞笑相声剧本
乱跑的猫
一老太婆上场,二狗子!快开电视啦! 孙女跑出来:人家在忙啦!今天有什么看嘛! 奶奶:这还用问?当然是看奥运啦! 孙女:哇!真的吗?人家好开心哦,我这就去开电视! 两人下场,奶奶上场,彩电已经开了,不过都是水花,奶奶好失望,踢了一脚电视,嘴嘟哝着走开了。 过了一会儿,“水花”被推开了,一个刷着牙的A把头露了出来,望了望:怎么那么吵?(又看了看下面,一把拉起B出来):喂,到时候起来做节目啦! B:(正经地)电视机前的观众,大家晚上好,您现在所收看的是湛江师范学院电视台体育频道(剔了剔牙) A:TWO! B:(望了望B,面无表情,竖起两根手指)二台! B:期盼已久的雅典奥运会昨晚已经正式揭开,现在为
原贴:校园小品剧本2人
kiwigwj
相声:超级主持人 甲、乙(合):大家好!(鞠躬) 甲:一个节日马上就到了,是什么日子?大家知道吗? 乙:什么呀? 甲:还能是什么日子?一月一日不是元旦,还能是方蛋吗? 乙:你是说圆圆的蛋吗?蛋不都是圆的吗? 甲:别乱说了,我说的是元旦节呀! 乙:好,咱言归正传。听说中央电视台办了个联欢会,那主持人的水平可真不咋地儿! 甲:可不是吗?联欢会刚开始,主持人就出来报幕了(一扭一扭地):“迎新春庆元旦联欢晚会到此结束!” 乙:啊?不会吧?还没开始怎么就结束了? 甲:这还不算什么呢,接下来还有更厉害的! 乙:又怎么了? 甲:下面的节目是《黄河大合唱》,为了弥补前面的错误,主持人特意加了一句台词(充满激情
原贴:2人搞笑相声剧本
infinity
小王子[ Chapter 3 ]- the narrator learns more about from where the little prince came。It took me a long time to learn where he came from。 The little prince who asked me so many questions never seemed to hear the ones I asked him。 It was from words dropped by chance that little by little。 everything was revealed to me。 The first time he saw my airplanefor instance (I shall not draw my airplane; that would be much too complicated for me)he asked me:[What is that object?][That is not an object。 It flies。 It is an airplane。 It is my airplane。And I was proud to have him learn that I could fly。 ]He cried out:[What! You dropped down from the sky?][Yes。 ]I answered modestly。[Oh! That is funny!]And the little prince broke into a lovely peal of laughter,which irritated me very much。 I like my misfortunes to be taken seriously。 Then he added:[So you,too,come from the sky! Which is your planet?]At that moment I caught a gleam of light in the impenetrable mystery of his presence; and demanded abruptly:[Do you come from another planet?]But he did not reply。 He tossed his head gently,without taking his eyes from my plane:[It is true that on that you can't have come from very far away。 。。 ]And he sank into a reverie which lasted a long time。 Then taking my sheep out of his pocket。 he buried himself in the contemplation of his treasure。 You can imagine how my curiosity was aroused by this half-confidence about the "other planets。 " I made a great effort therefore to find out more on this subject。 [My little man,where do you come from? What is this 'where I live' of which you speak? Where do you want to take your sheep?]After a reflective silence he answered:[The thing that is so good about the box you have given me is that at night he can use it as his house。 ][That is so。 And if you are good I will give you a string,too。so that you can tie him during the day and a post to tie him to。 ]But the little prince seemed shocked by this offer:[Tie him! What a queer idea!][But if you don't tie him],I said,[he will wander off somewhereand get lost。 ]My friend broke into another peal of laughter:[But where do you think he would go?][anywhere。 Straight ahead of him。]Then the little prince said earnestly:[That doesn't matter。 Where I live everything is so small!]And with perhaps a hint of sadness,he added:[Straight ahead of himnobody can go very far。 。。]。 。
原贴:2人英语小品剧本
小睡一会
元旦快乐 甲:你好,节日快乐! 乙:恩?节日?什么节日?你生日呀?恭喜恭喜呀!红包拿来!甲:什么乱七八糟的呀!人家生日早过了! 乙:噢,原来不是你的生日呀!那今天是什么日子呀? 甲:不会吧,你连今天是什么日子都不知道呀? 乙:我为什么要知道?今天很重要吗?甲:当然!是我们大家的节日呀。 乙:噢,我知道了,是国庆节! 甲:啊,还没到十月一日呢? 乙:那就是妇女节!让我们一起祝愿天下所有的妈妈们节日快乐 (唱:妈妈呀妈妈,亲爱的……) 甲:等等等等,又错了! 乙:那是不是劳动节呀? 甲:(大笑)5.1的7天长假是不上把你给睡傻了?(摸对方额头) 乙:去去去,你才傻了呢!不就是儿童节吗? 甲:啊!你
原贴:2人搞笑小品剧本
我游我自在
甲:(一副知识渊博的样子)你——听说过广告吗? 乙:(一愣)广告?我——时时听、天天听、月月听、年年听,并且——时时看、天天看、月月看、年年看,总之,自打我生下来就没有离开过那玩意儿。 甲:喜欢那玩意吗? 乙:我都快烦死它了,还喜欢呢。 甲:咋了。 乙:人家电视剧演得好好的,它突然给你加进去一个广告,有时连个招呼都不打(学电视里的日本话)“共产党的干部;你的说不说,不说就死啦死啦的,(学广告里 女 嗲声嗲气地)我说,老公——雪里蕻化妆品——我要吗——嗯”。 甲:是这样的吗? 乙:还有更可气的,就我刚才来这儿的路上,碰到个红灯,停车会儿的工夫就有一姑娘跑过来,从车窗的缝里一边塞进一
原贴:2人搞笑小品剧本
团子_Simone
相 亲 开场:(在公园一张长椅) 女演员打把伞,慢慢走出,把头用伞挡住,然后缓缓把伞放下,露脸(形象要夸张、逗笑)对观众说台词: 本小姐名叫张大波(做样子)确实如此,身材有波又有多,纤纤小手长长的腿(做样子)今年才只有20多 只是出生不太好,奶奶是个地主婆,从小扎根在农村,一天到晚养猪婆,幸亏党的政策好,才有了现在的好生活,办了一个养猪场,成立了一个猪王国,钱也有了什么都有,我的心里还是不好过,早就过了发育期,为什么老天还不给我个情哥哥。唉……其实也有人给我介绍过男朋友,但是没一个中意的,没几天就拜拜。就拿上次那个木匠来说,我****要他做几样家具,原来屁都不懂,若有其事的做了几天,就做出个马
原贴:2人搞笑小品剧本
Free小哄
在图书馆 S:student T:teacher S:Can I check out this book? T:Yes,for three days. S:When is this book due back? T:It's due on Monday the 25th. S:How much is my fine? T:You owe five jiao. T:Be sure to take care of these book. S:I will. T:Do not write in the book. S:No,I won't. T;Do not rip out the pages. S
六眼飞鱼
男:Can I buy you a drink?(我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?) 女:Actually I’d rather have the money.(不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱。) 男:Can I have your name?(直译:我能有你的名字吗?) 女:Why? Don’t you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?) 男:I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。) 女:I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve b
原贴:2人英语短剧剧本
elysetomat
(At Salesman’s home) N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman。 He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students。 He has a lot of money now。 But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you 。 I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate。 My candies are very popular,(展示),I don’t know why。 The foolish students always come here。 I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now。 (看表) First, put the flour on the table。 Then, water, sugar, flour。 (边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces!。 。
原贴:2人英语简短搞笑剧本
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